Full Moons and Mistletoe Read online

  Her eyes were different. The lightness was gone. She licked her lips, making me think of the many things I wanted those lips to do. “I guess there are a few things to explain.”

  “Why did you leave?” I’d been trying to come up with an answer to that question over and over for years. She’d disappeared. We’d spent two nights together. Two nights connected by a day when we barely got out of bed. She’d enjoyed it as much as I had. We were connected and meant to be together, and our bodies had known it from the moment we met. Yet she’d left me. Left me lying in my hotel room naked and alone. I usually had sharp senses. I should have noticed she left, but I was so hungover from being with her I’d let myself relax.

  “I was scared.” She blinked a few times.

  “That’s not an answer.” It was hard to stay away. Even the small distance separating us was too much.

  “Your brother said you’d say that.” She looked away.

  “You’ve met my brother?” I was starting to get an answer to another question, how the hell she’d gotten into my house. Not that I minded she was there.

  “I went looking for you—and he brought me here.”

  “Where’d you look for me?” I had a feeling I wouldn’t like this answer.

  “A bar. Sal’s Pub.”

  “You went into Sal’s?” My body tensed. “Did anyone touch you?”

  “No one touched me, but yes I went in. It was the only address I had. Your brother found me, and he brought me here.” She lowered her knees and stood up.

  “I have more questions about that, but my brother brought you here?” My brother was insanely protective of me. It was funny because he was the younger one—but I was Alpha, so I guess it made sense.

  “Yes. I was worried you’d be mad, but he insisted I wait here. I didn’t know what else to do.”

  “Mad?” I closed the space between us. “Mad isn’t the right word.”

  “Then what word is?” She wrapped her arms around herself.

  “I’m not the best at using words to explain myself.”

  “How else could you explain?”

  “Like this.” I was done waiting. I crashed my lips into hers and pulled her into my arms. She was startled but made no move to stop me. I pushed for entry to her mouth, and she opened up to me.

  I explored her mouth—which was at once familiar and entirely new. I was hungry for far more and gently pushed her arms down to her sides. I needed to feel her body pressed against mine.

  Before I could get completely lost in her, I broke the kiss. There were things to discuss before I claimed her the way I should have four years before.

  She stared at me while she tried to regain her breath.

  “Why are you back now?” Kissing her had been impulsive and stupid. I’d unnerved us both, but I didn’t regret it. I’d never regret touching her.

  “His name is Langdon.” She chewed her lower lip.

  “Who the hell is Langdon?” Was she really here to tell me about some other guy? My muscles quivered.

  She closed her eyes for a moment and then opened them. “Our son.”

  “Our son?” A million thoughts swirled through my head. “You can’t mean that.”

  “I can, and I do.” She pulled her phone out of her back pocket. “Just look.”

  I accepted the outstretched phone, and my heart skipped a beat as I looked into the eyes of a little boy. There was a resemblance I couldn’t deny. “All these years you kept him from me?”

  She looked down. “You made it clear you were a drifter. Said you were always traveling.”

  “But you had my kid. You didn’t think that would change anything?” I would have stayed with her. I planned to and would have if she hadn’t run off. But this. A son? This really changed everything. My heart nearly beat out of my chest as I processed the revelation.

  “I thought you’d reject us anyway.” She looked down.

  “So you let your low self-esteem keep me away from my son?” I was being harsh. I knew it, but she’d kept him from me. She’d kept a part of me hidden away for nearly four years.

  “It was a mistake to come.” She reached for her phone.

  I held it away. “No. It was a mistake for you to wait four years.”

  “Please. I’ll just leave.” She clasped her hands together in front of her.

  “Leave?” My wolf roared at the thought. “You show up and tell me I have a son, and then you think I’m going to let you walk out of here?”

  She shivered. “I don’t know. But I need to leave. This was a mistake.” She wrapped her arms around herself again.

  “Where is he?” I lowered my voice. Scaring her hadn’t been my intent. “Langdon.” I practiced saying his name. I had a son. Something I had wanted for years but had given up on.

  “With a friend. I thought he’d be safer there.” She looked down again. “I wasn’t sure how hard it would be to find you.”

  “Does he think this friend is his dad?” I had to ask. I had to know what man had been raising my son in my place.

  She looked up with confusion. “No. He thinks she’s his aunt. And she is in name even if not in blood.”

  “She?” That changed everything. “There’s no man in your lives?”

  “No.” She wrapped her arms around herself tighter. “There’s been no one since you—and you know how short lived that was.”

  “It was only short-lived because you left.” I pulled her back into my arms. I couldn’t stand to see her looking so afraid.

  She laughed dryly. “Oh yes, because you would have stayed with me.” She didn’t pull away, and I took it as a small victory toward making her comfortable again.

  “I would have.” I ran my hand down her back. “Have you been raising him all alone?” For the first time I noticed her worn out jeans and the small holes in her sweatshirt.

  “Yes.” She looked up at me. “I’ve done the best I could.”

  “You should have found me. I’d have been there.” I couldn’t stand the thought of my destined mate and our son struggling. They never should have wanted for anything. And they never would again.

  “At first I didn’t know how.”

  “Then how did you find me now? You said it was a friend of a friend?”

  “You told me you were from Forest Ridge. I asked around and was told the one place I’d find information on a wolf was at a certain address, which turned out to be a bar.”

  “You knew I was a wolf?” I’d carefully kept that information from her when we were together. I hadn’t wanted to scare her away.

  “I knew you weren’t human—and I thought wolves were the only ones affected by the full moon.”

  “How would you know I was—” Then it dawned on me. “Langdon? Is he already showing signs?”

  She nodded. “Yes, and it’s why I came looking for you.”

  “Is it the only reason?” I needed to know. Did she miss me the way I missed her? Did she wake up at night dreaming of me?

  She nodded. “It’s the only reason.”

  A pang of disappointment flooded me, but I shrugged it off. After the kiss we shared I knew she still felt something for me.

  “Would it be better to wait until morning to pick him up? Will it scare him if we show up in the middle of the night?” I knew very little about children, and I didn’t want to screw up our first meeting.

  “Wait, what?” She froze.

  “Langdon? When are we going to get him?”

  “We aren’t getting him. You’re going to tell me what to do, and then I’m going home.” She eyed the hallway to the front door.

  “Is that how you think this is going to work?” I smiled. I couldn’t help it. She had to be joking. “I’m going to give you advice and send you on your way?”

  “I mean we can stay in touch this time. If you want to meet him eventually we can arrange that, but I need time to prepare him.”

  “Meet him eventually?” My jaw dropped. “He’s my son.”

  She nodded. �
�I’m not debating the paternity, but I don’t expect you to actually help. I’ve raised him so far on my own, and I can continue. I didn’t come here for money or anything.”

  “He’s my son. He will be raised in my home.”

  She paled. “I’m not giving up custody! I never should have come.” She moved away from the couch. “Langdon is all I have. You’re not taking him away from me.”

  I grabbed her hands. “Away from you? Why would you suggest such a thing? You’re his mother. I understand that.”

  “Then why did you say he needed to be raised in your home?” She trembled.

  I released one of her hands and put an arm around her. “No disrespect to where you live, but this town is the best place for a young wolf. We will be raising him here.”

  “We?” She raised an eyebrow.

  “Yes. If you think this place is too small, we can buy something bigger. But it’s fine to start.”

  “We?” She repeated herself.

  “I don’t mean you have to pay. I’ll pay for everything from now on, but if you want to pick a new house that’s fine. I’m not picky.”

  “My concern isn’t the house.”

  “Ok, great. We have plenty of room for the three of us. Of course when the next pup comes along we might want to—”

  “What?” She flushed. “Next pup? Are you crazy?”

  “It happened quickly last time.” I tried to understand what was going in her head.

  “Wait.” She stepped away from me. “Do you think I’m going to move in with you? Not a custody share thing, but a ‘thing’ thing?”

  “We will officially mate. We will marry. We will raise our kids together.” I’d given up hope on having that life. That reality. But it was mine to have now. I’d found Alex, and she’d come with even better news than I could have dreamed of. I had three years to make up for with Langdon, but I would. I had enough money saved up; I didn’t need to take another job for a while.

  “No.” She shook her head. “That’s not why I’m here. I’m sure you have other women in your life. I don’t expect you to stop seeing them. That’s why I’d prefer if you just gave me the information I need. Your life can continue the way it has.”

  “My life can continue the way it has? You think I want that?”

  “Yes.” She nodded.

  “Then you really have a lot to learn.”

  5

  Lexie

  He was crazy. Either that or he was messing with me. Move in with him? Become his mate? Have more pups? He was out of his mind. I’d do anything I could to help Langdon, but getting involved with Ryder again was not going to help.

  I decided to change the conversation in order to get the answers I needed so I could leave. “The biggest thing I need to know is how to help him. What does he need when he changes?” I would never forget the first time I noticed the change. He’d run a fever and spent the entire night awake staring out the window. Each time after that it was worse. The pediatrician was the one who made me understand what was happening. He asked if I really knew everything about the father, and to keep track of what day it was each month. He had no advice for me aside from finding Ryder.

  “I will be with him for the next full moon, so I can take care of everything.” Ryder sounded excited at the possibility.

  “The next full moon is in a few days.” He couldn’t meet him that soon.

  “And my son will be with me. My mate will be waiting here for us when we return.”

  “I’m not your mate.” I didn’t even like saying the word; it sounded too much like ownership.

  “We haven’t made it official, but you are. You were the one destined to be mine.” His eyes lit up, and he grabbed for my hand.

  I shook my head and kept my hand away. “There’s no such thing as destiny.”

  “I thought you were my mate before—and now I know for sure.”

  “What changed?”

  “You had my pup.”

  “He’s not a pup!” He needed to stop calling Langdon an animal. “He’s a boy. A human boy.”

  He cupped my face with his hand. “No. He’s not human.”

  “He is.” Whether he was part shifter or not, he was still human to me. “He’s my little boy.”

  “He’s yours, he’s currently little, and he’s a boy, but he’s not human.”

  Tears spilled down my face. Tears I’d been holding in for ages. This wasn’t the life I wanted for Langdon. He was my sweet little boy.

  “Why are you crying?” Ryder used his thumb to wipe a tear off my face. “He’s strong, he’s powerful. Nothing is lost by being a wolf, but so much is gained.”

  “Please tell me how to help him. Then I can leave, and you can get back to your life.”

  “That again? You want to know what my life is like?”

  I did. I wanted to know because he was Langdon’s father. And because we’d kissed, and now I remembered exactly how intense our connection was.

  “My life is nothingness. I work and I long.”

  “Long for what?” I couldn’t imagine someone as tough as Ryder longing for anything.

  “For you. But that’s over. That life is over. I’ve found you.”

  “I found you.” I’d been the one to track him down.

  “What matters is that you are here now in my house.” He emphasized this was his home.

  “I’m not here to get involved with you again.”

  “Why not?” He reached for my chin.

  I avoided his touch. “Because I’ve been fine on my own. You want to get involved in Langdon’s life, I won’t stop you. You’re his father, but he will be living with me.”

  “And both of you will be living with me.” Ryder’s expression darkened. “I was part of that kiss, Alex.”

  “So what? It was a kiss.” An amazing kiss I felt throughout my whole body but still just a kiss.

  “It was more than a kiss. We both know that.”

  “Are you going to give me the information I need?” I was close to begging. I needed to get the information and get back to my car before I did something I’d regret.

  He seemed to consider my words. “That depends.”

  “On what?”

  “Whether you agree to my terms.”

  “Your terms?” I put a hand on my hip. “This is our son we’re talking about. He may not be important to you, but he’s—”

  He put a finger to my lips. “Don’t ever suggest our son is not important to me. I have been kept away from him by no fault of my own.”

  “But then why make terms? Just help.”

  “I can’t help him from afar.”

  I searched his eyes. I saw nothing but honesty there. “Then you can come back with me.”

  “Are you ready to hear my terms?”

  “There are no terms other than mine.” I was his mother. I’d raised him so far.

  He shook his head. “There are terms.”

  “Or what?” Was he really going to play this game? “You won’t help?”

  “I’m not talking those types of terms.”

  “Then what are you talking?” I forced myself to stay calm. Getting upset wouldn’t help.

  “Hear me out.”

  “Fine.” I crossed my arms.

  “Stop that.”

  “What?”

  He gently moved my arms down to my sides. “That. You’re doing it because you’re uncomfortable. You shouldn’t be uncomfortable around me.”

  “Sure I can.” I was very uncomfortable around him because I didn’t trust the way he made me feel. No one should have had the kind of affect he had on me.

  “Nope.” He smiled. “Not around me.”

  I shoved my hands in my pockets. “Just tell me what you want to tell me.”

  “We both have different visions of how this should play out.”

  “Very different.” Mine involved getting information and leaving. His? Well, his involved something that was never going to happen.

  “So we’re g
oing to play a little a game.”

  “A game?” I raised an eyebrow. “Are you kidding?”

  “I’m not kidding at all. This friend who has Langdon… you’re positive she’s trustworthy?”

  I nodded. “I trust her more than anyone.” I wasn’t sure what I would have done without Nancy over the past few years.

  “Good. Then we have a few days.”

  “Um… why do we need a few days?” Warning bells were going off.

  “Because that’s how long I want to convince you my way is better.”

  “Uh, I’m not quite following.”

  “You’re going to stay with me for the next two nights. Exactly the amount of time we had the first time around. If at the end of those two days you’re convinced you don’t want to be with me, then we’ll figure out a different parenting solution.” He grimaced as he said the last part.

  “What does stay with you mean exactly?” Because it wasn’t going to involve sex. Nope. Not even if my body was completely aware of how much pleasure that could bring.

  “It means you stay with me. In my house. We don’t leave for two days.”

  “And what’s that going to accomplish?” Other than driving me mad.

  “By the end of it you’ll see things my way.”

  “I’m not having sex with you again. That kiss won’t even happen again.” I crossed my arms.

  “You set the pace for the physical, but you will be sleeping in my bed.”

  “No way.” I shook my head. “I can sleep on the couch.”

  “No. You will be sleeping in my bed. With me. That’s how this is going to work. If at the end of the two days we haven’t had sex, and you don’t want to have sex—we will find an alternative way to raise Langdon. If in this time we do have sex—or you want to have sex, well then we do things my way.”

  “Wait, so if I don’t want to have sex with you at the end of two days, you give me all the information and help I need, but let me stay in my own town with Langdon? You won’t make us move?”

  He scowled. “I will be involved. I am not going to pretend to give up on that.”