Full Moons and Mistletoe Read online

  “What do you want with him?” A man walked out from a door behind the bar. “This Ryder you’re looking for?”

  “I need to talk to him.” I forced myself to make eye contact. I hadn’t come this far just to chicken out.

  “Talk to him about what?” He crossed his arms and stepped out of the dark space behind the bar.

  I took a good look at him. His face was the same shape as Ryder’s; he had the same bright blue eyes. “It’s private.”

  The girl laughed. “Private? You mean you slept with him?”

  “So you do know him?” I knew I was treading on thin ice, but I’d left my son and driven through a snowstorm. I wasn’t giving up yet.

  “Come here.” The one who looked a little like Ryder ordered.

  “Why?” I mustered as much confidence in my voice as I could.

  “Just come here.” He gestured for me to walk over.

  I took in another few deep breaths. I needed to find Ryder. Now wasn’t the time to get defensive. I took a few steps.

  “What’s your name?” He walked around to the front of the bar.

  “Why do you ask?” I raised my chin.

  “Just tell me your name,” he demanded.

  I froze. Did I give him my full name? My usual nickname? Or the one I’d given Ryder all those years ago. “I’m Alexandra, but I have a couple of different nicknames.”

  “What nicknames?” He narrowed his eyes.

  “Lexie, Lex, Alex.” I listed them off including the one only used once—by Ryder. I’m not sure why I told him I was Alex. It had been an impulse, and it had made me feel sexier. Stronger. I’d gone to the bar that night to escape a loneliness that went so deep into my heart I wasn’t sure I could ever shake it. I’d latched on to Ryder’s attention, and I didn’t want him to know the real me. The weak me. I knew if he had he’d have turned the other way.

  “Alex?” The man tensed.

  “Yes.” I tried to calm my rapidly beating heart. The name meant something to this man.

  “Let’s go for a ride.” He came around the bar.

  “A ride?” That changed things. Getting in a stranger’s car sounded like a very bad idea. “Where are we going?”

  “You think your brother knows this girl?” The older of the men asked.

  “I’m not sure.” Ryder’s look-a like studied my face as if to make sure I was real. “But I need to find out. Keep this to yourselves please.”

  “Why?” The girl scowled. “Why should we?”

  “Because you all want Ryder to owe you a favor.” He glared at her. “He’s very good at repaying favors.”

  “He’s a wolf. He works for us. I don’t care what anyone else says.” The younger of the two original men spat on the floor.

  “He is good at what he does.” Ryder’s brother narrowed his eyes. “Keep it to yourselves, and you will be rewarded.”

  “Maybe we will if you get out of here.” The older man ran his eyes up and down my body in a way that made me completely uncomfortable.

  “I’m not sure it’s a good idea for me to get in your car.” I kept my feet firmly planted. “I don’t even know your name.”

  “I’m Norm. You know my name now. You came here to find Ryder, right?” He took a step toward me.

  “Yes.” I nodded.

  “Then it’s a good idea.” He grabbed my arm and towed me out of the bar. I got pulled along in a blur. Could it have been this easy? Had I found Ryder’s brother already? Nothing in life was that easy, which is what made the situation even scarier. There had to be a catch.

  Norm opened the door to a shiny black truck. “Get in.” He glanced at the bar. “And fast.”

  “What about my car?” I hesitated beside the open door. “I can’t leave it here.”

  He went around to the driver’s side. “You really worried someone is going to take that thing?”

  “Not exactly, but it’s my only way back home.” What I really meant was it was my only way back to Langdon, but I couldn’t tell him that. I also couldn’t tell him that I wasn’t sure it could get me home. I’d barely gotten into the parking lot as is.

  “If you’re worried about being home, why are you here?” He patted the passenger seat.

  “I need to talk to Ryder. It’s important.” It involved the most important person in the world to me: Langdon.

  “Then get in the truck.”

  I looked back at the bar. The girl was on her way out. I had no idea who or what she was, but I didn’t want to wait to find out. I jumped in and pulled the door closed behind me. I was doing this for Langdon. I would have done anything to help him.

  Norm backed out of his spot and onto the road. “It’s been four years.”

  “You know who I am?” He’d recognized my name—or seemed to, but knowing specifically how long it had been was a more precise detail.

  “Oh yes, the one my brother has been pining over for years. You fucked him up royally.”

  And he’d knocked me up, so we were even. Even as I thought the words I knew I didn’t mean them. I wouldn’t have traded having Langdon in my life for anything.

  “So why are you looking for him?” He glanced over at me.

  “Where are you taking me?” I gazed out the window trying to make sure I memorized the roads we were taking in case I had to find my way back, but after a few turns I knew it was hopeless.

  “A place with less ears.”

  “Oh.” Fewer ears meant no witnesses. This might be bad. “Please, don’t hurt me.”

  He laughed. “Who said I was going to hurt you?”

  “You’re driving me off somewhere alone.” This was stupid. I was stupid. “In a snow storm.”

  “You’re the one who chose to show up during the storm.” He shot me a pointed look.

  “I need to see Ryder. This was the only time I had to come.” And I only had a few days before the full moon.

  “Why do you need to see him?” He once again took his eyes off the road to look at me.

  “It’s private.” I looked down at my lap. “Very private.”

  He slammed on the breaks.

  I grabbed onto the oh-my-god bar as the truck swerved, slipping on the snow before finally coming to a rest at the edge of the snow covered blacktop.

  He unbuckled his seatbelt and leaned toward me. “Listen to me, and listen closely.”

  I nodded. Too scared to do anything else.

  “Ryder is my brother. If you’re here to mess things up for him any worse than you already have, there will be hell to pay.”

  I started to nod but then stopped. Would telling him about his son count? “I might mess things up for him, but we still need to talk.”

  Norm’s eyes nearly bugged out of his head “Do you think I’m kidding with you?”

  I sighed. “No, but I’m trying to be honest. I have something important to talk to him about, and I can’t promise he’s going to love it.”

  “Tell me what you need to tell him.”

  I shook my head.

  “Then you’re not seeing him. I’ll take you back to your car.” He moved the truck into drive.

  “Please.” Tears slid down my face, and I lacked the strength to blink them back. “I need to see him.”

  Norm’s expression softened. “Oh, no. Seriously? You had to cry?”

  “Please.” I stopped trying to stop the tears. They were there, and if they could help me get to Ryder, maybe they weren’t so bad.

  Norm sighed. “Why can’t you tell me?”

  “He really mentioned me?” Before I revealed anything I had to make sure Ryder hadn’t completely forgotten about me.

  “He thought you were—” he stopped. “Never mind. You tell me why you’re here first.”

  I looked down at my lap and thought over my options. I could refuse again and return home without anything to show for it. Or I could tell him the truth and hope for the best. The latter option seemed like the better one. “It would be better if I showed you.” I pulled out my ph
one and clicked on a recent picture of Langdon. “This is why I need to talk to Ryder.”

  He returned the truck to park and grabbed the phone from me. “What?” He looked closer. “There’s no way.”

  “He’s Ryder’s.” I knew that 100% and hoped the resemblance was enough to convince Norm.

  “I know. I mean the resemblance is uncanny, but you—” He looked me over. “This is yours? He’s your son?”

  “Yes. He’s mine.”

  “Wow.” Norm looked again. Then handed the phone back. “Let’s start over. I’m Norm. Pleasure to meet you.”

  I laughed in surprise. “You’re re-introducing yourself now?”

  “Your kid is my nephew. That makes us family.” Norm stared down at my phone again. “This is unbelievable.”

  I shook my head. “I’m not here looking for family. I’m here looking for some help.”

  “Do you need money?” Norm appraised my clothing. “I can promise Ryder will take care of that.”

  “This isn’t about money.” And I needed to make sure no one made that mistake.

  “Wait.” Understanding crossed his face. “The boy is almost four, isn’t he?”

  “Yes.” I nodded.

  “Things getting weird once a month?” Norm watched me expectedly.

  “Yes. Very.” There was no sense lying. I was here for help, and of all people Ryder and his brother would understand what was going on. “I thought I could handle it, but I need help. I only want what’s best for Langdon.”

  “Langdon?” Norm turned his head. “That’s his name?”

  “Yes.” I hoped there wasn’t some Langdon they knew and disliked or anything. Not that it mattered. Ryder wasn’t actually going to be involved in Langdon’s life. I only needed information.

  “Where’d you come up with it?”

  “I just liked it.” And I’d never met anyone with the name before. I wanted something fresh, a name I didn’t associate with anything or anyone else.

  “Ok.” He put the truck back in drive.

  “Where are we going?” I wasn’t as fearful of Norm now, but I still needed to know where we were headed.

  “To Ryder’s place.”

  “Is he there?” Now that the reality of seeing him was nearing my nerves set in. I hadn’t actually believed I’d get this far.

  “No, but he’ll be back soon.” Norm pulled back onto the road. “Where’s Langdon?”

  “With my friend. I was afraid to bring him.”

  “He safe?” Norm increased his speed and changed lanes.

  “Of course. I never would have left him otherwise.” Did he think I was a bad mom just because I hadn’t found Ryder sooner?

  “Sorry. Just checking. Langdon is more important than you realize.”

  “I realize how important he is.” I gritted my teeth. “It’s the first time we’ll be apart over night.” I looked down at my hands. I couldn’t afford to get upset, but I missed him.

  “You shouldn’t have waited so long.” Norm tightened his hands on the wheel.

  “I was scared.”

  “Ryder’s going to want a better explanation than that.”

  “I don’t have a better explanation.” At least none I could easily put into words.

  “I’m sure you do.” He shot me another pointed look.

  Fear was most of the reason. Fear of rejection and worried he would be angry that I left. But I’d left for the same reason. Fear.

  “Why’d you show up at the bar?” Norm turned down another residential street.

  “It’s the only address I had… I got it from a friend of a friend who knew someone.” And it seemed to have been spot on.

  Norm nodded. “We’re almost there.”

  My mind was spinning with thoughts and feelings I didn’t want to have as the snowy landscape flew by. Norm turned down another street where nearly every house was tastefully decorated with lights and wreaths for the holidays. Finally, Norm pulled into the driveway of a small craftsman style house. It was well kept with large trees anchoring both sides of the house. It was the only house on the street without decorations, but it was far nicer than what I’d expected. My only time with Ryder had involved a hotel.

  Norm got out, came around, and opened my door. I followed him up the walkway.

  He unlocked the front door of the house. “Stay here. Don’t leave. It’s dangerous on this side of town.”

  “Wait.” I tried to process everything. He was leaving me to wait alone for Ryder? This was in no way what I was expecting. “You’re leaving me here?”

  “Yes. I need to get back to the bar and make sure no one causes trouble for Ryder.” He nodded back toward where his truck waited.

  “What do you mean?”

  “Those were Dragons.” His eyes locked on mine. “You understand?”

  “Dragon shifters?” I knew that all kinds of shifters existed, but that didn’t mean I’d had any idea what those people are.

  “Yes. And that’s why you showing up there was so stupid. We aren’t the only shifters in town, and some shifters aren’t friends of ours.”

  “What do you mean?” I asked, not sure I wanted to hear the reason. “Why aren’t they friendly with you?”

  Norm shook his head. “I’ll let Ryder explain. He should be home by tonight.”

  “So I’m supposed to wait here for him? What if he freaks when he finds someone in his house?”

  “He never has his phone on when he’s on the kind of job he’s been on. Nothing I can do.” Norm opened the door again. “Glad to meet you, Alex, or Alexandra, or whatever you call yourself. I’m sure I’ll be seeing you again.”

  And like that I was left alone. I really hoped Ryder would be glad to see me.

  4

  Ryder

  I hated driving in the snow. It’s not that I couldn’t do it, but the other drivers annoyed me to no end. They drove either way too slow or way too fast. The result was a stressful drive that took twice as long as it should have.

  I’d stopped an hour in to change my plates back to the real ones. You could never be too careful. I should have done it sooner, but I wanted to get home. I was tired and ready to get some actual sleep. I was good at what I did, but it involved making lots of enemies. One of these days I’d get killed—the question wasn’t if but when—if I kept this life up. But I found I didn’t care. I could never admit that out loud. I was Alpha, and my pack depended on me caring, but I couldn’t. Not anymore. I’d heard a wolf would lose his mind if he met his mate and didn’t claim her. I never believed it. I should have. But it wasn’t only his mind he loses. It’s also his soul.

  I replayed the two days I spent with Alex over and over in my head. I always started at the beginning.

  I noticed her from across the room. So beautiful, but so lonely. She stood there with her arms wrapped tightly around her as if she were cold. The bar was hot. Sticky hot, yet she appeared to be shivering.

  I’d watched her for several minutes, but then I couldn’t help myself. “And now I have a new mystery of the universe to uncover.” It was a dumb line to start with, but it was what came to my head. I could barely think straight around her.

  She turned to look at me. Her eyes widening before setting on my own. “I beg your pardon?”

  “It’s a mystery how a girl as beautiful as you could be standing here all alone.”

  “It’s no mystery.” She laughed dryly. “I’m destined to be alone.”

  “No.” I shook my head. “That’s impossible.”

  “And how would you know?” She unwrapped her arms, giving me a clear view of the body she was trying to hide.

  “Because you’re destined to be with me.”

  Her laugh wasn’t dry this time. It was loud and melodic. “Does that kind of line usually work for you?”

  “I’ve never used it before.”

  She rolled her eyes. “Likely.”

  “It’s true. Let me buy you a drink?”

  She hesitated, and I fully expe
cted her to say no. Instead she smiled. “Sure. It’s your money to waste.”

  I shook the memories away. I had to stop torturing myself. Alex was gone, and I was going to have to find another way to go on.

  I turned on the radio. The first song was all Christmas music. So was the second. I switched it off. I was in no mood for Christmas. The only thing I wanted, I couldn’t have. Instead I thought of my pack and the work that needed to be done to build us back to the dominance we once had. Before I knew it I was pulling into my driveway.

  I knew something was off the second I got out of my car. I sensed someone inside my house. The closer I got to the house, the more confused I became. It was a human and a female. It was also achingly familiar. Now I could add losing my senses to my list of losses.

  I opened the front door and walked in quietly. I was good at sneaking around. It was part of my job.

  And that’s when I saw her. Curled up on my couch with a hand wrapped around a phone. I watched her, wondering if I was hallucinating. It couldn’t really be her, after all these years. But my senses were right. It was her. It was Alex.

  She looked so peaceful, and I kneeled down next to her, resisting the urge to reach out and touch her. Why was she here? After all this time? I couldn’t hold back any longer, I brushed some of her long blond hair away from her face. Her skin was still smooth as silk. All of her skin had been. Every inch of it. I’d made sure to memorize and touch all of it the last time we were together.

  She’d been so full of life and excitement. Everything I wasn’t.

  Her eyes flew open, and she sat up with a start, pulling her knees up to her chest.

  Neither of us said anything. We just stared at each other. I was full of so many conflicting feelings. Anger. Hurt. Need. Need was the strongest. I’d waited years to see her again. My imagination hadn’t built her up into something more: she was just as perfect as I remembered. My body ached for her. My wolf howled inside, begging me to claim her—to do what I failed to do four years earlier.

  “I can explain.” Her three words broke the silence.

  “Explain which part exactly?” I held myself together even though the distance was killing me. I didn’t care about anything but the fact she was back. And she was back to stay—I wasn’t letting her disappear on me again. She was in my home—exactly where she belonged.