Stargaze: Half Light Read online

  “Yes. She is innocent.” Telton nodded. “Completely innocent.”

  “I was blind.” Rachel wiped her eyes with her hand. “That is not innocence, but I know something was done to me. I was given some sort of modifier.”

  “In your water…” Telton hung his head.

  “That’s why she loves Earth water so much.” Dale clapped his hands together. “It isn’t tainted with drugs. Well, not that I know of.”

  I glared at him. Dale was a good friend most of the time, but he could also be unbelievably annoying.

  “How long did you know?” Rachel’s voice was calm, far calmer than I would have been.

  “A few months.”

  “You really had no clue before then? You never wondered?” She crossed her arms over her chest.

  “Perhaps I should have. Maybe that puts me in the same boat as you. I was blind.” Telton continued to look down, as if ashamed.

  “But you were an adult. I was a child.”

  “You were not protected the way a child should have been.” Telton looked up. “I am sorry for that. But I still believe you were given a better life. I’m sorry you were modified for so many years. Had I known I would have stepped in sooner.”

  “Did you think I really felt that way? So strongly about Caspian?” Rachel brushed her hair off her shoulders.

  “You were close since childhood. Your bond seemed normal considering who he was, and his capacity to feel. There was no way for you to form a bond like that with anyone else.”

  Rachel tilted her head to the side. “Why? Why was he different?”

  “Not was, but is. Caspian is different from the rest of us.”

  “The rest of the Lexas?” Angie asked. She’d taken a seat in one of the few ‘captain chairs.’ She looked tiny sitting in the large black chair, and I was kind of tempted to pull out my phone and take a picture. I didn’t.

  “Yes. He has the capacity to truly feel and experience emotion without the aid of modifiers. Nearly all of our kind lost that ability ages ago.” There was no sadness to Telton’s voice, but there was a tinge of something else. Anger, maybe?

  “But why does he?” Rachel shifted her weight from foot to foot. “It’s not as if the rest of the royal family does.”

  Telton shrugged. “There are some mysteries I cannot explain.”

  “How did you find out?” Rachel spoke in nearly a whisper. “How did you find out what they were doing to me?”

  “Kelby confided in me.”

  “Kelby knew?” Rachel’s voice lilted.

  Telton nodded. “He knew.”

  “Where is this Kelby guy anyhow?” Dale glanced all around as if the guy was going to magically appear. I guess considering we had been beamed up, it wasn’t such a strange idea.

  “We are waiting for him.” Telton stepped back, finally giving me a fuller view of Rachel’s face again.

  “Why?” Rachel sighed. “You said he finally told you, which means he knew longer. Did he suddenly have a change of heart? How do you know you can trust him?” There was real anger laced in her voice, and I wanted to ask her why. I wanted to know why this Kelby guy upset her. Was she involved with him too? Like Caspian? I shook myself. Her past relationships were none of my business.

  “Because we need him.” Telton zoomed in on one of the screens. This one showed several columns of numbers. “He is integral to this mission.”

  “Why?” Rachel followed behind him, waiting just off to the side.

  “Because even though I am the Commander of the Explorers, I lack the connections to properly build our army. Kelby can do that for us. In addition to connections, he has the personality.”

  “Build an army?” I asked for clarification. Had he actually used the word ‘army’?

  “Yes.” He turned to me. “How else would we defeat the Emperor?”

  “I don’t see why Kelby has the skills.” Rachel leaned back against a long metal table.

  “Kelby could convince a silkworm to buy silk.” Telton tapped the monitor and the numbers disappeared.

  “That’s an interesting analogy.” Carl rested his chin on his hand. “Are there many silkworms on Andrelexa?”

  “They aren’t native to our planet. No.” Telton kept his eyes on Rachel even as he answered.

  “Oh. So you mean you stole them from another planet before you destroyed it?” Angie sat forward in her chair.

  “Great. You’re going to insult him?” Dale glared.

  “No. She’s right.” Telton flexed his muscles, but not in a showing off way, more like he was stretching. “We’ve made some mistakes, but the decision to destroy a planet is always made after careful consideration. It is only done when we believe there is no other hope.”

  “No other hope for what?” I asked. Angie wasn’t the only curious one.

  “No other hope for the natives of that planet to save themselves.” Telton studied me.

  I tried to pretend I didn’t notice his intense gaze. “So what about Earth? Why is it in danger?”

  Telton’s stare didn’t waver. “Because the Emperor is straying from that principle.”

  “Why was it threatened with destruction before?” Rachel circled around to come stand beside me.

  “Because of the carnage. But we shouldn’t discuss that now.” Telton turned to another monitor.

  “Why not?” Rachel pulled back on his shoulder.

  Telton spun around. “There is only so much a being like you can take.”

  “A being like me?” Rachel pushed her hand into the front of his shoulder. “What are you saying? Are you claiming I’m weak?”

  I hadn’t heard that kind of anger in her voice before, and I wasn’t quite sure what to make of it. She was getting more upset by the second.

  “I can’t have you distraught right now. I’m not implying you’re weak, but you have to be at your strongest. Please. Give me this time.”

  “Stop doubting me.” Her hands balled into fists at her side.

  I was torn. Did I reach out to comfort her? Or would that come across as condescending?

  Before I could react, she relaxed. “I will hold you to it. But if you are correct and Earth is at risk, then I won’t fight you on this now. We must put the safety of the people of Earth first.” She glanced over at me and met my eyes.

  “Not to interrupt, but any chance of us getting some of those cool threads?” Dale asked.

  “Threads?” Telton’s brow furrowed.

  “He means clothes,” I translated. “When have you ever used that word, Dale? Stop trying to act cool.”

  “I’m not acting cool. I am cool.”

  Angie rolled her eyes. “Really, Noah. You need to do a better job finding friends.”

  I laughed. With everything else going on, it felt like the natural thing to do.

  3 Noah

  “You wanted to see me?” I resisted the natural instinct to add ‘sir'. I also made sure to make direct and clear eye contact. I decided to handle Telton the way I handled my cat. I wouldn’t blink until I had to. I wouldn’t let him know just how terrified of him I was. It wasn’t that I thought he’d actually hurt me, but I knew I couldn’t trust him. And yet my life, as well as Angie’s and Rachel’s, were in his hands. That in of itself was terrifying.

  “You wouldn’t be my choice for her.”

  “Oh.” I was supposed to say something here. Defend myself. “With all due respect, it isn’t your choice.”

  “No. It isn’t.” He took a seat in one of the captain chairs and gestured for me to take the one Angie had sat in earlier. The others were off figuring out food options. At least that’s what we’d been up to when Telton asked to speak to me privately.

  “Okay. Then what did you want to talk to me about?”

  He grasped the arms of the chairs. “Do you have the ability to defend yourself?”

  “Defend myself from what exactly?”

  “You got lucky with the Fleshard. You will not get that lucky again.”

  �
�I know I got lucky. Really I just acted instinctively.” I’d tossed the cup without really thinking it through—more of a surprise attack kind of thing. I was very lucky it had worked.

  “Yet you protected Rachel. I am in your debt for that. I should have predicted they might find her first.”

  “And I would do it again in an instant.” Throwing the water wasn’t the only thing that came instinctively. Protecting her did too. I’d never really felt that way about anyone before other than my sister. But this was different because it was completely tied up with the way Rachel made me feel. In the space of a few hours she’d managed to find her way inside parts of me I’d always kept locked away.

  “Yes. You would. And I can see that.” He remained stock still. It was a bit unnerving as he didn’t blink the way humans did. “When I said I wouldn’t have chosen you, I wasn’t disparaging you. I was only speaking the truth.”

  “That you wouldn’t have picked me. Got it.”

  “There will be many who want you dead.”

  “Fantastic.”

  “This isn’t a joke. That is why it’s critical that you can defend yourself. I can train you myself if you’d like.”

  “Train me?” I sat up straighter in my chair.

  “In the art of defense. And offense. You sometimes need to take the offensive.”

  “I can defend myself.” I hadn’t actually had the need to try out those skills, but in theory I could. I wasn’t a weakling or anything.

  “Against other humans.” He stretched his legs out in front of him. They were insanely long. “Maybe. But not against the adversaries you will be facing.”

  “And you think you can teach me the skills to do so?” In theory that was good. He thought I had potential.

  “Absolutely.” He nodded. “At least some.”

  “When do we start?” After facing a Fleshard once I knew I didn’t want to be caught unprepared again.

  He inclined his head to the side. “What’s your story?”

  “My story?” I put a hand on my chest reflexively. I thought this was going to be about him training me and teaching me his ways.

  “Yes. Rachel sees something in you. She is motivated almost entirely by emotion and heart. Even more so than most humans. It is part of why she has always been so important.”

  “I don’t have an interesting story.” At least not as interesting as Rachel’s. I did have a depressing one—but that wasn’t really my story. I was only a small part of a bigger story.

  “I’m sure you do.” He leaned forward. “Your sister made quite the sacrifice for you.”

  “Yes. She did.” And part of me still didn’t quite believe it.

  “Why?”

  “What do you mean why?” I searched his face for what answer he was looking for. “She’s my sister.”

  “Would you have made the same choice?” He relaxed back into his chair.

  “Why does any of this matter?” This wasn’t about me, or my family. This was about protecting Earth.

  “Because I need to know what you are made of.”

  “Of course I would have made the same choice. Just because I failed once, doesn’t mean I’d fail again.” Anger welled up inside of me, anger I’d hidden away for a long time.

  “You do have a story.” Telton’s voice was emotionless. He wasn’t responding to my anger.

  That only annoyed me. “Not one that anyone wants to hear.”

  “Does Rachel know?”

  “No. I haven’t told her yet.” Why depress her more than she already was?

  “Is there a reason you haven’t?”

  “No. We haven’t had a chance.” Not really the truth, but given the current situation, we hadn’t exactly had much of downtime.

  “Are you sure that’s why? Are you sure you aren’t worried you’ll come across as a coward?”

  “I’m not a coward. If I had known…” I trailed off before I could reveal too much. Why was I telling this guy anything anyway? I didn’t owe him any information.

  “No one is calling you a coward for those actions, whatever they were, but maybe you are a coward if you are afraid to tell her.”

  “Why does it matter?” Was there some hidden meaning to his questions I was supposed to grasp?

  “Because she deserves to know all of you.”

  “With everything else going on I need to rehash all that? Not that you even know what it is…”

  “I know it is tragic. I know you have a common story with Rachel, and she may feel that. And no it does not need to be now, but if I were you I wouldn’t wait too long.” He finally blinked. “She doesn’t do well to finding out someone hid things from her.”

  “This is different. She told me I don’t have to tell her. Plus it isn’t about her. What you did was different.”

  “And you’re afraid it’s going to color her view of Earth.” He rested his chin on his fist. “That’s the real issue, isn’t it? You don’t want her to know that true evil still exists on the planet she longs for so much.”

  “I never pretended it didn’t exist.” I’d have been completely delusional if I did. All you had to do was read one page of the daily news to understand that. “But is there really a planet where it doesn’t? How can you even have good without evil? Isn’t that the whole way things work? The balance of the universe?”

  “A philosopher, are you?” He grinned. “And you are right. There is nowhere free of evil. The Lexa liked to believe they were, but power can corrupt anyone.” His expression darkened, and I assumed he was thinking of the Emperor. I tried to picture what that guy looked like. I was picturing a long cape and maybe a Darth Vadar mask or something. I was probably completely wrong.

  “You really thought you weren’t evil? I mean, really? You stole natural resources from planets and destroyed them? That’s pretty bad in most anyone’s book.”

  “Only when the planet was too far gone.”

  “What about Earth? Didn’t it get close to destruction?”

  “It did but not that close.”

  “Close enough that you rationalized taking Rachel.” Which made it impossible for me to like Telton, even if I was getting used to him.

  “I took Rachel because I could not bear leaving such an emotionally beautiful creature on a planet where evil took on such an insidious form. I knew what happened to her parents. I met them.”

  “She never told me what happened to her parents. And you implied she doesn’t know.”

  “She doesn’t. She was too young, and her aunt kept that truth from her. It was likely for the best. I don’t think five-year-old Rachel could have handled it and survived.”

  “Who were you to decide how much she can handle or not?” My anger rose again. This time at him. “Besides, maybe she couldn’t handle it at five. But what about later? What about now?”

  “You have no idea what you’re dealing with here. Telling her will change her whole view of reality.”

  “It’s that much worse than being abducted by aliens and believing Earth was destroyed when it wasn’t? Oh, and being told she has to mate with someone who lied to her for years?” That last part really rubbed me wrong. Rachel deserved to make her own decisions. She deserved the truth.

  “Both the background of what happened to her parents and what that means for her will have perhaps even far worse consequences for her state of mind.” He pinched the bridge of his nose. “I have known Rachel for thirteen years. You have known her a few days. I allowed you to come. I will allow you to stay. I will even train you, but I will not allow you to tell me what is best for my daughter.” He looked down at his watch. His face paled. There was a loud beep from one of the computers behind us.

  “What is that?” The discussion about Rachel would have to wait.

  Telton said nothing. He ran over to a monitor.

  I followed him. “It’s bad isn’t it?”

  “We can’t wait much longer. Kelby needs to get moving.”

  “And if he doesn’t?”

&n
bsp; “We give it a few more hours. If he doesn’t come, we’re doing this without him.”

  “And you still think we have a chance?” I didn’t really want to know the answer. It was Earth at stake after all.

  “Maybe. Maybe not. There are no guarantees in life. You know that as well as I do.”

  The beep went off again. I was officially in over my head.

  Part 2

  Caspian

  4 Caspian

  I had just missed her. The room still held her scent—one I’d memorized so many years before. I picked up her watch, turning it over in my hand and feeling the remnants of warmth it still held.

  She wasn’t the only one whose emotional footprint I could sense, but hers was the only one that lingered even long after she was gone. I felt every emotion that had flowed through her as she stood in this one-room housing. I understood some of them. Fear. Anger. Betrayal. But there was one that made no sense at all. Love—romantic love. How could she have felt that on Earth when there was no one there for her? Had she been thinking of me? That was the only possibility, and it gave me hope that she might one day forgive me.

  I examined the watch closer. Why had she taken it off in that place? I’d have understood if she’d left it behind on Andrelexa, but why keep it for so long just to toss it aside on Earth? There was only one possibility. Someone told her to. It couldn’t have been an Earthling. That made no sense. Why would they want her to take the watch off? And why would she listen? She hadn’t found her brother, otherwise she’d have been with him. So who else would motivate her decisions? It was someone from Andrelexa. Someone like Kelby.

  I should have known. I should have figured out he was interested long before now. Just as I should have figured out she was being modified all along. I’d been so blinded by my love for her I’d ignored everything else, but I couldn’t regret that. I owed everything to our connection. I wouldn’t have survived without her.

  There had to be evidence of Kelby’s presence. Something beyond the glass shards on the floor. Anyone could have created those. He must have left some clue, some hint to his presence and where he’d gone with her.