Starburst: Half Light Page 5

  “How else is there to say it?” He pulled a football seemingly out of thin air and threw it to me.

  I caught it and sent it back.

  “I know you saw a reflection of the events again. Finally get it isn’t your fault?” He sent the ball back to me.

  We continued our game of catch. “How do you know I blamed myself?”

  “Because I’m your twin. I know you better than you know yourself.”

  “How are we speaking? You still never told me.” I held onto the ball. I needed to make sure he didn’t continue to distract me without giving me some answers.

  “I’m always in your head. Some connections never die.”

  “That’s not true. If you were there then why haven’t you talked to me before?” There were many times when I would have given anything to hear his voice.

  “Have you been in sensory deprivation before?”

  “No. That’s how? This is real? You aren’t just a figment of my imagination?”

  “I guess you will never know. I can’t prove anything to you.” He held out his hand. “But throw the ball. It’s been a long time since we’ve played catch.”

  I threw the ball without really thinking. I was used to listening to Joseph. “What’s death like?”

  He laughed. “Oh boy. Going for the tough questions already, huh?”

  “Maybe I am.” It was something he’d experienced without me. And it was something I hoped to know nothing about from personal experience for a long time.

  “I can’t tell you that.”

  “See, you are a figment of my imagination.”

  “Why are you saying that now?”

  “Because you can’t answer questions you would be able to answer.”

  “I said I can’t tell you, not that I don’t know.” He sent the ball spinning back. I caught it but took a few steps back in the process. He hadn’t lost his throwing arm.

  “Fine. Whatever. You have to be talking to me for a reason, even if it’s all in my head.”

  “Don’t forget who you are. And who Rachel is. See, I called her by her name twice now. Give me credit.”

  “Thanks. What do you mean?” Playing catch with my dead brother was great and all, but he was here, or in my head, whatever it really was, for a reason. I needed to get to the bottom of why.

  He cradled the ball under his arm. “You two are starmates, but you are more than that. You are two individuals. Even if together you can accomplish more that doesn’t make the individual pieces less valuable on their own.”

  “Is there a hint hidden in here?”

  “You didn’t need this experiment to find her. You can do it yourself. You can feel whatever you need to feel.”

  “I don’t know how.”

  He groaned. “Really Noah? Have you even tried?”

  “You have to know how to do something before you try.”

  “Says who? Noah, snap out of this. Did the reflection teach you nothing? Be strong. Be brave. Take charge.”

  “That was always your job,” I mumbled under my breath.

  “Yeah well, maybe that’s the problem. You’re good at letting someone else take the lead. And I let that slide. But I’m dead now. Don’t keep making the same mistakes. Do what needs to be done.”

  “Harsh, but not completely uncalled for.” I’d always been content in his shadow, but now his shadow was gone and I needed to push myself forward.

  “Not completely uncalled for? How about completely called for. Remember you can’t lie to me.”

  “You are just a figment of my imagination.”

  “So? What if I am? Does that change the fact that I’m right? Completely and utterly right?” He smirked again, and he looked a little younger now.

  “No. I suppose not.”

  “Now get out of this stupid deprivation thing and find her.”

  “But can’t I find her in here?” Wasn’t that why I put myself in this weird contraption? I looked around searching for the birdcage chair.

  “Sure you can try, but you may end up getting me again.”

  “Which wouldn’t be the worst thing.” Seeing Noah twice in such a short period of time was incredible, even if it was pulling me apart.

  “I’m dead, Noah. Sooner or later you will have to accept that.”

  “I’ve accepted that. I’ve accepted everything.” Wasn’t that part of why the Reclos made me relive it? To get closure?

  “Have you? Have you really?”

  “Yes. Whether I want to or not.” And I didn’t want to. I didn’t want to give up Rachel. If I could open a parallel universe where I was with Rachel and Joseph was still alive, I’d jump on it immediately.

  “Do what you have to do, man. And keep living. See as much of the universe as you can. Do it for both of us.”

  “I will.” And I would.

  Joseph flickered, like a candle. And then just like that he was gone.

  “Pull me out, Dale,” I called, hoping he could hear.

  A few moments later I was back in the chair and blinking. “Rachel’s heading toward Andrelexa. I’m sure of it.”

  “Wow, you found her that easily? That deprivation thing must be powerful.”

  “I didn’t find her with this. I think I knew all along.” I pulled off the cables.

  “Whatever you say, man.” Dale raised the bars on the chair.

  Nicely done. I could have sworn I heard Joseph’s voice in my head again.

  Part 3

  Angie

  7 Angie

  I was still pissed at Kelby. Training or not he’d put me through hell. No matter how many times he told me it was for my own good, I didn’t care. He’d made me feel things I didn’t want to feel, and to worry about things I didn’t want to worry about.

  “You can’t stay mad at me forever.” Kelby put his feet up on the computer dash. He looked like one of those cowboys from a country music video, down to the muscles and the rustically handsome looks. But we weren’t driving down a country road. We were in a spaceship going who knew where. I shook myself; there was no reason to stare.

  “Of course I can. There’s no time limit on things like this.” And considering what I’d gone through—how many fears I’d faced—I was going to be mad a long time.

  “There should be.” He laced his fingers behind his head. “There should be a precise time limit so I know when it’s safe to be around you.”

  “But there isn’t.”

  “Have you always been this stubborn?” He leaned back further in his chair. He was nearly lying down now.

  “I’m not stubborn.” I was angry and annoyed. That was something altogether different.

  “Yes, you are.” Darto sipped something from a tall wooden cup.

  “Oh, it’s you.” I didn’t ask him what he was drinking even though I would have done nearly anything for a hot cup of tea. I needed something to help me relax. One of the worst parts of being on a spaceship was there was nowhere to stomp off to.

  “Okay, at least you are mad at him too.” Kelby was far too happy about that.

  “She’s mad at the lot of you.” Malton lifted his head from where he napped on my lap.

  Kelby glared at the dog. “You would have been in on it too if we’d trusted you.”

  “Nope. Never. I am completely loyal to Angie. That’s what I am. A dog. Dogs are loyal to their owners.” He rolled over inviting me to rub his belly.

  I did just that. I was a pushover.

  “Here’s a treat.” Darto pulled something out of his pocket. Malton jumped off my lap and ran over to him. Darto grinned. “Loyal until the snacks come out. Then everything changes.”

  “I’m a dog. What can you do?” Malton hurried off to the corner with his treat.

  “How do you know so much about human dogs now?” I asked as he munched on his bone.

  “I did some light reading while you slept.”

  “Some light reading? Right. You are not the same as most dogs I’ve met.”

  “No, I’m bet
ter.” He stuffed the last of the treat in his mouth and ran over and jumped back into my lap.

  “Oh, you’re back now?”

  “Yes. I’m loyal, remember?” He gave me puppy eyes.

  I petted his head. “Tell yourself whatever you want to.”

  “I will.” He closed his eyes.

  “I can’t believe you kept him.” Kelby pulled his feet off the dash.

  “He’s grown on me.” I continued to pet Malton’s soft fur. If I couldn’t have tea I’d find other ways to relax.

  “Of course I have.” Malton rolled into a tighter ball.

  “I thought you were sleeping.”

  “I’m just resting my eyes.”

  “Back to the important conversation, you must get over your anger. It’s not healthy.” Kelby spun his chair so he was looking directly at me.

  “Oh? You know what’s healthy for me?”

  “It’s not whether it’s healthy for you in particular, it’s what’s healthy for everyone.”

  “We’re different species so you can’t know that about me.” Now I was just getting nitpicky.

  “We’re not that different.” Kelby leaned forward in his chair. “We can procreate together, which means we’re not that different.” He waggled an eyebrow.

  “Why did you have to bring procreation into this? Huh?” I crossed my arms. “It has nothing to do with anything.”

  “Actually procreation is central to the continuation of life.” Darto took a seat. “I assume they taught you basic reproduction on Earth.”

  “Of course I know about reproduction. That’s not the point. Not at all.”

  “Then what’s the point of this conversation?” Darto took another sip from his drink. “I’m confused.”

  “You admit to being confused?” Kelby slumped down in his seat. “That’s a new one.”

  “I’m allowed to be angry.”

  “You are allowed to be anything, but that doesn’t mean you should be.” Kelby rose to his feet. “What would your brother say?”

  “After what you put me through? He is not going to be happy about it.” But the mention of Noah made me wonder how he was. I was an awful big sister. I hadn’t thought of him in hours. But that would change. I wasn’t losing another brother.

  “But you are fine. You were safe the whole time.” Kelby strode over.

  “Or so you say.” I kept my eyes focused on Malton.

  “You were safe,” Darto pressed.

  “I’m mad at you too. Don’t forget that.” I returned to petting Malton.

  “How could I forget that?” Darto slurped his drink. “I’m not enjoying this. Not one bit.”

  I knew the slurp was to get my attention. I didn’t bite. “That’s the point.”

  “So this is punishment? Interesting. Interesting indeed. I’ve never thought to use anger as punishment. Well, I don’t know what to tell you. We did what we had to do, and now we are all better for it.” He slurped once more.

  “Either way we need to stay focused. We’ve done some basic recruitment work. The twins are on board as well as half a dozen strong additions. And we made some connections. Now we have to do pickups.”

  “Oh yes. Like a big intergalactic carpool?” I looked up despite myself.

  “I love the way you put things.” Kelby laughed. “It’s both funny and creative.”

  I realized he wasn’t laughing at me. In that way he was easy to read. “Uh, thanks.”

  “You will learn to take a compliment.” Kelby smiled. “I’ll make sure of it.”

  “I can take a compliment. I said thank you.”

  “No, you mumbled thank you as you blushed.” He winked. “Not that anyone was watching.”

  “And what does getting red on my face have anything to do with taking a compliment? You are so infuriating.”

  “Yes, we all know I make you angry.” He grinned.

  “Why am I amusing to you?” Didn’t he realize he was just annoying me more?

  “it seems your punishment is backfiring. He is enjoying it now.” Darto held his cup upside down, as if to prove to himself it was empty. He set it on the counter beside him.

  “Do you guys need me, or can I go wait somewhere else?” The ship was bigger that it looked. The twins were sleeping somewhere. I’d have rather have been with them than these guys.

  “We need you.” Kelby said it simply.

  “For what? And there better not be a snide remark about procreation in your reply.”

  Darto snorted. “You actually said that.”

  “She’s always full of surprises…” Kelby grinned.

  “You guys can say stuff about it, yet I say it and it’s a big thing?” If they were trying to get me over my anger, they weren’t doing a very good job. “Why? Because I’m a woman? Because that’s ridiculous.”

  “It was a good joke. That’s all.” Kelby reached out a hand, and then let it fall to his side. “I’m really not trying to get you angrier, believe it or not.”

  “It is hard to believe.”

  “Think you can put your anger aside long enough to help us through this mission?”

  “Yes. I agreed to help, so I will. End of story.” I wasn’t one to slough off responsibility. Besides, if we weren’t successful everyone I cared about would suffer. I couldn’t let that happen.

  “I like that.”

  “Like what?”

  “I like that you can put feelings aside. Not that feelings aren’t important.” Kelby put his hands up in front of him. “But this mission needs to take precedence.”

  “I’m still not entirely sure how I can help, but I want to protect my family and save Earth.”

  “You really do still have a soft spot for your home planet.” Darto crossed one leg over the other and rested his elbow on the top one.

  “Of course I do. It’s my home.” Was there something I was missing?

  “But what is home exactly?” Darto shifted in his chair.

  “Home. It’s as simple as that.” Just thinking about home stirred all sorts of feelings inside me.

  “But if someone took your house and moved it, like was done for your parents, would that change things?”

  “Home is the people.” The realization hit me hard. “So I guess that’s what I mean. Thankfully my family is safe, but there are other worthy people. Countless others who deserve to be saved.”

  “Not everyone can be saved. No matter the circumstance.” Darto’s eyes bored into mine.

  “Trust me. I know that. One of my brothers died and there is nothing I can do, but if there is anything I can do to save others, I’m going to do it.”

  “Just Earthlings? Or others?” Darto pressed.

  “Why does that matter?” I sounded defensive, but I didn’t care.

  “I’m just curious how wide this bleeding heart of yours extends.”

  “It’s not a bleeding heart. It’s a heart. And there is nothing wrong with it.”

  “Of course not.” Kelby nodded. “No one said there was.”

  “Darto implied…” I trailed off. This wasn’t worth arguing about.

  “Darto implies a lot of things.” Kelby waved his hand in Darto’s general direction.

  “That I do.” Darto uncrossed his legs.

  This conversation was getting us nowhere. “Where is our first stop?”

  “Telsa. It’s going to get crazy.”

  “Crazier than what we’ve dealt with already?” I knew the answer would be yes, and that didn’t scare me as much as it probably should have. I was slowly growing immune to craziness.

  “Absolutely. You need to change.”

  “What’s wrong with what I’m wearing?” I looked down at my black jump suit. It was plain, but it did its job.

  “Let me rephrase that. We all need to change. We need to blend in.”

  “And what we’re wearing won’t cut it?” I looked once more at my clothes. “This has worked everywhere else. Why not on Telsa?”

  “Telsa is a different sort
of place. Outsiders will be unable to get to the sector we need access to there, so we absolutely need to blend in.”

  “Am I going to like this wardrobe change?”

  “No.” Darto shook his head. “But then again neither do I. We’ll do it anyway.”

  “What am I wearing?” Malton lifted his head. “Maybe something with a cape?”

  “A cape?” Kelby laughed. “What would you need a cape for?”

  “For fashion. And to make me look tougher.” Malton yawned.

  “You don’t need to wear anything.” Kelby moved his hands behind his back. “You are a dog.”

  “But I am part of this team. I demand an outfit.”

  “You may come to regret that demand.” Darto’s eyes danced with amusement.

  “So be it. I will dress like Angie.”

  “Just like Angie?” Darto gave a slight smile.

  “Yes. We should match.”

  Darto laughed. “Okay, dog. But don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

  8 Angie

  “There is no way I’m wearing this.” Malto took several steps back from the tiny outfit offered to him. How Darto got something that small—or really any of it—so quickly and on the ship I’d never know. But he could do many things I didn’t understand.

  “What did I tell you?” Darto held out the outfit again. “But you wouldn’t listen.”

  “I’m not wearing mine either, so it’s okay.” I’d made that decision as soon as I saw what could best be described as a tiny bikini top and bike shorts.

  “You have no choice.” Kelby had wisely set the skimpy outfit aside instead of holding it up for me.

  “Of course I do. I always have a choice.” Even if it was just the better of multiple bad options.

  “Not on this.”

  “Yes on this.” I picked up the ridiculous outfit. “There is no way I’m wearing this.”

  “I already told you. We need to blend in.” Darto tossed Malton’s outfit at him. “The dog can skip his, but I can’t budge on yours.”

  “Then I’ll wear what you guys are wearing. It’s way better than this.” From what I could tell theirs were just brown outfits with fringe. Not exactly flattering, but at least not demoralizing.